Getting to know myself-1

After leaving the busy MA course, I finally have some time to be with my own, doing nothing.

Thinking that how much I grow up since last time I really aware of that.

An incident just happened week ago, and affected me quite a lot.

I should be very emotional and upset, but I didn't.

The calm makes me feel creepy, because I can still feel that I want to be like that instead of being so calm.

Therefore, I decided to go on a diet. Try to do something not very good but won't do any serious harm.





Then , I wonder, I am doing this.
If I need to cry or complain, and why shouldn't I?
Is it just because I should be like a grown-up, but not like a child who's moaning about life?
The fact may be as simple as that I could not face the truth and wouldn't want it to bring up the self that I have been hidden for years.
How sad...

Still trying to figure it out.

But for now, I would say that I am still very much like a child, especially dealing with love and relationships. That makes me feel ridiculous. Will get on with the madness and keep my bloody miserable life going on and on.

MingX