After leaving the busy MA course, I finally have some time to be with my own, doing nothing.
Thinking that how much I grow up since last time I really aware of that.
An incident just happened week ago, and affected me quite a lot.
I should be very emotional and upset, but I didn't.
The calm makes me feel creepy, because I can still feel that I want to be like that instead of being so calm.
Therefore, I decided to go on a diet. Try to do something not very good but won't do any serious harm.
Then , I wonder, I am doing this.
If I need to cry or complain, and why shouldn't I?
Is it just because I should be like a grown-up, but not like a child who's moaning about life?
The fact may be as simple as that I could not face the truth and wouldn't want it to bring up the self that I have been hidden for years.
How sad...
Still trying to figure it out.
But for now, I would say that I am still very much like a child, especially dealing with love and relationships. That makes me feel ridiculous. Will get on with the madness and keep my bloody miserable life going on and on.
MingX
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